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 :: 1895-1977, American Comic Actor

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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
~ Groucho Marx - [Writers and Writing]

 

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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
~ Groucho Marx - [Autobiography]

 

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There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
~ Groucho Marx - [Envy]

 

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There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
~ Groucho Marx - [Honesty]

 

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Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
~ Groucho Marx - [Sex]

 

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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
~ Groucho Marx - [Wives]

 

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